Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Here We Go Again

Ok, I know this stuff works. When I actually spend the time and do the work, it works. So, why do I fall in the ruts that I fall in. I'm not in a rut now but I just got out of one. I was feeling sorry for myself and didn't even try to make myself in a better mood. I just don't know why it should have to be so much work to feel good. I want to just wake up happy everyday. I don't want to have to make myself in a better mood. I'm just hoping someday, if I do all the work that needs to be done, I won't have to work so hard at it. It's not like I'm totally grumpy everyday but I'm definitely not chipper and happy everyday. I think I just need to do daily exercises every morning to get to a feel good place. It's a good way to start the day. I've recently started a free journal and it's my second day and I can already feel a change in the way I'm feeling. I'm more at peace. I feel like I don't have to worry about every little thing. Also, I started to meditate at night. I just want to clear my mind. It seems like my mind is running a million miles an hour. I'm always thinking about something. How to better myself. What I want to do. Who I want to be. Thinking about my job. Thinking about my diet. Thinking about the guy I like. It's tiring. I need some peace and quiet in my head. And this seems to work somewhat. I think I'm on my way to the life I want to lead. Yay for me!

1 Comments:

Blogger Nine Lives said...

be gentle with your self. it's always hardest at takeoff.

i spent around 5 months of consistently disciplining my mind, meditating daily (using Jody Sachse's HAV1 music, free Holosync, free Silva audios, what have yous), clarifying my mind by doing journalizing exercises (just writing down all that was in my head, the good and the bad, "framing" my thoughts and feelings, as EFT would call it) and--if all else failed-- by sheer will and choice to focus on the good, even if appearances looked bad, before i was able to come to a consistently good, peaceful, happy place.

before that, i spent around 30 years (counting from age of 7, the so-called age of Reason, to 37) studying, learning, self-struggling, even as i got tossed and turned around by externalities...

so, hang in there.

indeed, the hardest struggle is with one's inner self, but it is all worth it.

be good to you, be gentle with your self, whatever happens, my friend.

7:00 AM  

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