Stop Complaining Already

I am aware that you don't like your job, your boss, your husband, the weather, the government, the way you look, your co-workers, your car, your family, your pant size, or yourself. You have told me over and over again. But please, for the love of God, stop complaining or I might go insane. And please stop sneezing so loud. Is it really necessary to sneeze that loud? I mean, really, I know you like the attention but I really can't stand to jump out of my seat everytime you sneeze. And if you could please stop telling me how much money you won at the casino and how you know how to 'read' the machines that would be great. I'd really appreciate it. I just really don't care. Now I have resorted to complaining about you. How pathetic. If you could just stop talking to me that would be great. Actually just stop talking altogether. Thanks.